messy divorce

[minnow]

Yes, lily I understand what you are saying *S* and that is why a Guardian Ad Litem was appointed in our case...because my ex could not be reasonable and mediate the custody issues.

However, it should be pointed out that there are many flaws with the Guardian Ad Litem (which appears to be the equivalent of your Children's Attorney's office)and any good GAL will tell you that. Mine did :-)

These people are appointed to represent the best interest of the child but they have very limited time to do that. They are complete strangers coming into a situation where they are supposed to assess the homelife, family life, mental and physical health and suitability of the parents. Sometimes these people have literally a week to make their recommendations to the court. Not a perfect system by any means.

The parents should put their differnces aside and try to come up with a reasonable soloution because who really knows what is best for the children? The parents. Not to mention the fact that mediation costs 75/hr and a GAL costs about three times that.

If anyone reading this is in a similar situation my honest and best advice is to sit down with your ex and put your personal shit aside. Compromise and come to a fair and reasonable agreement with the understanding that no matter how you feel about your ex, the children, in most situations love both of their parents and need a healthy and ongoing relationship with both.

Go to court and fight over the money if you must, but not the children. The stress it puts on them is absolutely unacceptable. The parents need to be the grown ups. (Seems like an obvious statement, but you would be surprised *L*)

[imzredhead]

Divorce....*sighs*...hard to believe that two people who at one time were so very much in love could end up...."that way"...How very sad it really is when you stop and think about it. I really don't mention alot about my personal life online....I prefer it that way....for the most part....however, while going thru my divorce, I found great comfort in people that could tell me they had been thru it and survived, and yes, life does get better eventually *S*....A marriage fails, I believe, because of two people, its never one persons fault. And I had my faults, tho I know many of you will find that hard to believe *G*.....Three years ago..we were near divorce and opted for counselling....(did I spell that right?)...I feared divorce, not because I didnt' think I could make it without him... but because I was afraid of losing my children....my ex...would get in my face and laugh...when I'd mention divorce...and tell me he wasn't leaving, that he was going to keep the kids, and have custody of them in the end, because he knew they were my life....my reason for trying to hold on.... Mine was an abusive marriage, verbally mostly, but physically at times as well....on more than one occasion, the police have been at my door on a domestic violence call...I quit work to raise my kids...so I had no "job"....at least not the kind that pulls in big dollars...for those stay at home mothers, you know what I mean *S*....Anyway, my ex was finally put out of our home on an emergency order of protection...when he was....for three months..my children and I went without any type of support from him....he didn't care if the kids were being fed...if they had a roof over their heads....he was simply angry that I....I...would do such a thing?....All along he'd told me he would fight me for custody of our kids...I told him I was in....if it took every dime we had and selling everything we owned....to my last breath I'd fight him....well, the attorneys told him what it would cost him to fight for custody of the kids, and that really for him was all it took, he loves his money, his material belongings, which he fought more over than he did the kids, but hey I'm very happy for that...I'm not the perfect mother, or person, I have my faults, and I did some things I am not really proud of....but the point our marriage had reached was very unhealthy, for us and for the kids. And I believe, it takes alot of inner strength to be the one to finally say......enough....and put an end to it....the most agonizing decision of my life....and I so very much can empathize with anyone having to go through such a life altering experience...my divorce just recently became final, and as long as you have kids, you're going to have conflicts...and on occasion, they remind you why you divorced them *G* *L*....but it does get better....really it does....hang in there....and fight for what you believe in....

[minnow]

Uh yeah...uh huh....I hear ya...me too...*L*...we have a lot in common *L*

[~lily~]

*LMAO* Redhead, i can relate!!
My lawyer says "You're 5 steps away from being free of all this bullshit....he's still 5 thousands steps from humanity!!"

[minnow]

Is it just the men than turn into complete assholes? *L*...can't be...*L* I just don't get it...something about the divorce? hurt ego? what? that brings out the bigoluglies in some people...It never had to be that way in my case...and HE asked me for the divorce *LOL*

[voodooray]

minnow me and my bro were the dispute....yrs ago....my mum fought to keep us for a year with my dad...and in the end won...shes ace my mum

[Më£ïñÐa]

ummm! If i'm not mistaken, Rodeo's the one with a different side to this story...
Well maybe its the same story, just the other way around.....

And lily! poor you! i'mean not only a psychotic X...But a Xs psychotic gf is the worst!!!...them are nasty bitches!!


Thank You Ladies!!
This is gonna help a friend of mine alot!!

*L* she cant believe that i talk to real people on here...*L*